Can Self-Hate Cause Addiction?
Of all the toxic emotions we feel, self-hatred might be the most destructive and debilitating. When we hate ourselves, we feel inadequate, unworthy, undeserving and inferior. If we struggle with envy, jealousy, competitiveness and insecurity, chances are we’re feeling self-hating. If we put other people down in an attempt to make ourselves feel better, if we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others and feeling as though we come up short, we may very well be self-hating. If we judge and criticize ourselves overly harshly, it is often because we’re lacking in self-worth and self-confidence, very common effects of self-hatred. We fall into patterns and develop habits of trying to numb the pain of how much we hate ourselves with addictive substances, behaviors and relationships. Every time we try to avoid our self-hate rather than confronting it, we allow it to fester and compound itself. We’re letting it get worse and worse. We manifest the circumstances in our lives based on our energy, and how we feel about ourselves is a major component of that energy. When we’re self-hating, we’re manifesting out of that self-hatred. We’re manifesting circumstances that make us feel unfortunate and unlucky, making us unhappier and more down on ourselves. We choose relationships that don’t value us because we don’t value ourselves. We inundate ourselves with feelings of shame and guilt, and we feel unable to forgive ourselves, doing more things we’re ashamed of because we’ve created recurring cycles of shame and self-hatred that we have a very hard time escaping.
Many of us feel self-doubt and insecurity, and it takes mindfulness and conscious work not to let our insecurities morph into self-hatred. We have to take steps to counter the difficult thoughts and emotions we have that make us feel bad about ourselves. We have to make our inner voice stronger than the voice of our inner demons, the voice of our limiting beliefs. We have to tell ourselves that we are good enough, just as we are, and that we don’t have to do anything or change anything about ourselves to be good enough. We have to tell ourselves that we deserve to be happy, that we are inherently worthy. We are unique, special, incomparable and irreplaceable. There is no one else like us, so there is really no point in competing with or comparing ourselves to other people because each of us is here to fulfill a unique purpose and live out our own special, beautiful story. We can develop the healthier habit of competing with ourselves instead, trying to improve upon our past selves in order to be happier and healthier each day as we move forward.
When we turn to addictive substances and behaviors, it is often our self-hatred we’re most trying to distract ourselves from, forget and escape. We can find that the high we get from our drugs of choice makes us feel better about ourselves. It makes us feel more confident and self-assured. It eases the pain of our insecurity and self-doubt. It gives us a false sense of empowerment and courage. When we feel high, we think we’re escaping the painful feelings that accompany our self-hatred. When our high wears out, however, our self-hatred is still very much present within us. We need to resolve it and heal it at the core if we want to prevent ourselves from feeling the self-destructiveness that drives our addictions.
At The Beach House, we understand the struggles associated with substance abuse. We know how hard it is to seek help. Our team works hand-in-hand with our patients to develop customized plans to begin the road to recovery. Call or Text (310) 564-2761 today for more information.